Well...thought I would just update...have been very busy at work, so I apologize for not visiting my old and new friends...
Well..I finnally talked to h ..if anyone was following, I had talked to our Pastor last week, and she kinda inspired me to talk to h, things she said lead me to think he had talked to her...so I called him about a new matress set that I am getting..and said that I would like to talk..he said he didn't think there was anything else to talk about..I did not want to do it over the phone, but I started talking..so we did..I told him that I did not want a d, but that I would not fight him..he did not answer too much during the conversation..so a positive that he did not cut me off and say that his mind is made up..I pretty much just stated all the changes we have made and the realizations that I have learned and how we both have become better people because of all this..he agreed..we talked about Christmas..I asked him if he even wanted to spend it with me..he said he was waiting for an invitation..of course that threw me..so I said "from who", "my sister"..(as we had talked about not wanting to go to her house)he just laughed and said "no", I then said" Your mother"?..then I realized he meant from me..I cried and said "of course you are invited, but you don't need an invitation to come here. So I guess he wants to be with me...or at least our kids..All this after I had said I don't want a d..a good sign??? who knows..I do feel better that I said the things I have been wanting to for along time.
I was so trying to control my emotions...to not fall apart..but I did tell him that I had gone for my mammogram, and the tech saw some area that she wanted to do some extra films that were a little different than usual....of course it scares you...h said that maybe becasue I have lost weight, it could affect it...it really helped when he asked when they would let me know...I said I hope if somehting is wrong they will call soon, otherwise you get a card with ok on it..
So my friends, I do believe he still cares..just that he beleives the m is over..or is afraid to lose what he has now.
