The unexamined life is not worth living

[Denver_2010]

Ahhh... glad you got that 2Step!! LOL!

BITS
Denver

[Denver_2010]

Until you guys decide what your doing, its a moot point right?
(cue up This is War)
Right?

Cause...I might have read it wrong, but I thought she left the ball in your court about reconcilling, I thought you agreed to it based upon what you said...

I might have read that wrong, but if I didn't whats all this might pussyfooting around crapp?

I don't think that I did a very good job of describing the conversations that I had with W yesterday.

In the afternoon, W brought up R talk but asking me "where are you with everything after Thursday night?" I responded by telling her that I was going through a range of emotions. She kind of pressed me on whether I was still leaning towards working on our M. I told her in no uncertain terms that I was.

After that, our talk was mostly about logistics of getting to a point where we could start serious reconciliation... mainly about her having to have a talk with OM, hurting his feelings, etc.

So when I got off the phone with her, I thought that it was a done deal... that we were going to reconcile and that it was just a matter of tying up the lose ends.

BUT conversation with W last night was a little bit different... not much. I THINK that more of the discouragement was in my head than anything.

W had gotten to her house from work and found that OM had done some 'really nice things' for her for Vday. That led into her talking about how it is hard for her to just let go of this guy who is so nice to her to go back to our M. She said to me that "I feel like I should give us a chance with everything you are saying"... but... "then I think about our history"...

I validated everything and W told me that she'd be in touch. Well, I took that conversation as somewhat less sure than the one earlier in the day. So, I assume that it is still up in the air to a degree and that the ball is in her court.

Make sense??


Thanks for all of the advice Jack!!

BITS
Denver

[grr]

denver you know what that sounds like to me?
that the other man is there to make you jealous
as sort of a reactionary thing, if you will
she is using him to test you
if you were just speaking of reconciliation, it makes no sense that she could be swayed from her husband for someone who did something nice on valentines day
i really think she is just making sure you stick to your commitment
"because if you don't, there is someone else who will" and the like
i really think that's what it is

[Denver_2010]

denver you know what that sounds like to me?
that the other man is there to make you jealous
as sort of a reactionary thing, if you will
she is using him to test you
if you were just speaking of reconciliation, it makes no sense that she could be swayed from her husband for someone who did something nice on valentines day
i really think she is just making sure you stick to your commitment
"because if you don't, there is someone else who will" and the like
i really think that's what it is

That has crossed my mind grr. Who knows. I really am not that concerned about OM. If my W were to ultimately choose to pursue R with him over reconciling M with me... ummm... how do I say this politely? She would be a fool... I was flabbergasted back in November when I found out that she was giving this guy the time of day!

I'm just going to patiently wait for W to make the next move. Trying not to be overly confident.

BITS
Denver

[figgeroni]

I wouldn't be too flabbergasted Denver....

for whatever reason

he is fulfilling needs for your wife that you couldn't or were unwilling to do

[Denver_2010]

I wouldn't be too flabbergasted Denver....

for whatever reason

he is fulfilling needs for your wife that you couldn't or were unwilling to do

I know, I know... I'm just sayin!

My W was lonely and depressed. It was my fault for allowing this to go on. Vulture saw my W's vulnerability and swooped in, gave her his time, his attention, his affection, his compliments... my W ate it up.

I know.

Thanks Fig. I'm not overly confident... really. Just having a little fun.

[Denver_2010]

Update...

My W's grandmother passed away in the middle of last night. W called me this afternoon to tell me. I had gone with W and SIL to see her grandmother day before yesterday. She was very ill.

W and I talked a lot about that and everything that W, SIL and MIL have to do to plan a funeral. About how they plan to burry her in Buffalo where she spent most of her life.

I offered to help in any way that I could. W thanked me and told me that we'd chat tonight.

No R talk of course.

Later W texted me to ask me if I'd check our mail for her today... she has never had it forwarded... and let me know that SS is suspended from school tomorrow. I responded that I would check the mail and about SS. I told W again that I was sorry about her grandma and that I was sad about it too. She responded 'yeah it is hard... we'll talk tonight."

Don't know if W will call or contact me at all tonight. Not really expecting it with everything going on.

BITS
Denver

[figgeroni]

I am not saying don't be confident

I am saying a vulture is an important part of the ecosystem

everyone has a purpose

remember what your purpose is

[mj144]

There sure are a lot of testicles being offered around this forum. 2step, if I didn't know better, I'd think you had the balls of 3 men with how eager you are to part with yours.

[Denver_2010]

I am saying a vulture is an important part of the ecosystem

This deserves to be cut and pasted to every solution journal out there, Fig...