This is a direct quote from my stbxH too. Only I know it's not true. His father was a rip roaring alcoholic who was verbally abusive to most people around him, and physically abusive to at least some of my stbxH's step-siblings. StbxH's siblings and cousins and neighbours all shake their head in disbelief when they hear him say he had a good childhood. Part of what I think (just my .02 worth) is that his dad is sober now and a fantastic guy. He's a really good grampie. And I think my stbxH has issues with trying to deal with his past and ressurect those images and feelings in order to deal with them because they feel like a betrayal to the man his father has become. On top of the alcoholism ... their family was really poor and, well, kids are cruel.
My guess ... all that OCD and hoarding (not to mention eventual drug use) is a cover for something. They might not even be aware of it ... check out my second post on my last thread (the one right before my current one - link should be on my first page) ... what is traumatic for one may not be for another, and vice versa ... it all depends on the coping and communication skills of the person being affected.
Originally Posted By: Rae
When you have someone else responsible for all of your life except going to work, it's easy to lay blame on them for anything and everything that goes the slightest bit wrong.
Yup. I can sooooooo relate to this.
It's part of why I'll never do it again. But the bigger part is because they're men ... husbands .. boyfriends ... whatever. They are grown adults, not children and they need to be trusted to take care of themselves. Period.
BTW ... Rae ... makes me think Ray of Sunshine ... and you are you know ... refreshing. Glad to know you Rae.
Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
