Well, I'm pretty old fashion when it comes to raising kids. Even at 2yrs old, kids can read their parents and they know which one they can work and which one means business. Your little boy knows that his mother is going to cave in and let him sleep with her if he cries long enough or loud enough. He knows what it takes to get his way with her.
OTOH, he knows that his daddy is not a person who he can play monkey business. But, it doesn't mean that he loves one parent more than the other one. Your son will probably grow up always working your W to his advantage. OTOH, he will grow up respecting his dad and having a deep love for him.....and will want to have his dad's inner strength. I think it's important for a son to have that as his role model.
The reason he acts like he does whenever you go to give him his bath, when his mom's there, is b/c he's wanting (probably to get out of a bath) but I think it's to see which parent will be the strongest. He has no reason to act that way when she's not there.
At first I thought he could be feeling all the tension between the two of his parents and felt insecure. That is probably what the therapists woulds tell us. However, if he has witnessed no violence or loud verbal fighting, then he's doing what all normal kids do.
It may seem like a small thing, but I'd dare say that whichever parent wins out over this struggle at bath time....or the other times, will make a critical development in how he will be as a father and a husband.
The sad thing is that being S under the same roof is very difficult to do when you are changing out days/nights with the baby. He's smart, but I don't know if he has that part figured out or not. He just knows that when mother is there....he can through a fit and it usually get him what he wants.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
