Newbie post What to do now

[BeingMe]

Hi there JustStunned! Just caught up with your sitch ... so surprised you haven't gotten more comments on your thread.

Just wondering if you ever changed the locks ... i thought it a good idea to broach that with your L.

I don't think you should approach your W to read DR or any other R book. That would seem like pursuing. Only enter into a R talk, if she starts it, and then only affirm her feelings (which is not agreeing that she is right with the actions she has taken).

Detach. Try avoiding her ... don't always be available for her. Cancel appts sometimes ... just find something else to do. I think you are starting to get the point, that GAL is for you. You can use this time to be instrospective.

Try and renew old friendships. Yes, you have been isolated within W's family, but you have your adult kids too ... they are there for you now, even if they shouldn't be taking sides. I so feel bad for your mom, but you are there for her. Try and spend time with her, just chatting about other things. If she likes to play games like cards, then do that or put puzzles together. This will allow her to concentrate on something else. You sound like such a good son. Do you have sibliings?

And, I think you should take down the photos of you and your W ... before she comes around again. Let her see you are moving on without her. If you ever reconcile, then you can have new pictures take because it would be a new M.

I think you are doing well considering the situation you find youself in. Keep up the good work.