From the Darkness Comes the Light!

[MichelleLT]

Just on what I've seen. I've not actually done statistics, but it's definitely up there.

The WAS most of the time doesn't go through with the D, at least not right away. They waffle. They hem and haw. They have their second thoughts and doubts and check to see if you are still on the line emotionally.

The LBS is the one who either keeps standing for the M or gets fed up and says let's get this done legally, you obviously left a long time ago. I don't know how many LBSs I've seen be the ones to file the D papers because the WAS is too wrapped up in their fantasy life to be bothered with paperwork.

The WAS almost inevitably is acting out of misery. They are trying to get away from what they see as the source of their pain. But they fail to see usually how they have contributed to their own misery, and realize that they can't run away from themselves. So their misery goes with them, and they try and bury it with drugs, alcohol, and affair, a new job, a new apt, a new car. Pick your poison (or two or three lol). But because they are so busy running from themselves, they have little energy left to deal with mundane things like paperwork or giving the LBS "closure".

Look at JR09's wife. She filed for D then let the action be dropped because she didn't follow through.

My D took almost 2 years for my XH to file, and I actually was the one who prepared everything for him to file (he was back with OW for the 3rd time and I just ran out of patience).

Kalni's H was in and out a couple times. She was to the point of filing D papers when he had second thoughts. She almost didn't take him back. There was lots of agonozing on her thread for a couple weeks while she processed what she wanted to do.

Dry_heat / Virtually_handsome's XH lived in the spare room for years while he DBed before he finally just told her if nothing was going to change and she wouldn't do MC or anything maybe they should file for D. Her answer? Yes, lets. He had to be the one to decide it had been long enough though.

I could list others, but my observations have told me that the WAS either files RIGHT AWAY and pushes forward hard with the D, or things drag on and the LBS ends up being the one to make the decision.