To answer your questions Mach I think it is because of this
1. I am way too attached 2. Because I feel she is in control 3. Because I have expectations when I shouldn't.
I have to take a step back and think because you are dead on with what are telling me.
I think #2, you may want to look at closer...
Maybe think why you feel she is in control ?
And why that bothers you ?
What IS control ?
I think she is in control because ultimately she decides wether we stay together or not. She decides if she wants to give the M a chance. She knows I want it but in this case I am not the deciding factor. I have lost control of the M and now I am working almost entirely on mercy for the M. That is what I meant.
However........Having said that..........
If I properly detach then she no longer has control because I would have reached a point when it truly is about me. It becomes about my healing, my well being and then the M would be something nice but no longer a necessity.
I guess what I need to learn is that
I would like my W back I would like the M to be saved I would like the chance to be the better husband I know I can be
BUT
I don't NEED my W back I could live without my M Regardless of it being my W or not I have become the H I knew I could be
