Newbie- Very Lost- Not Sure where to start

[tdb68]

Mr Bond,

Thanks for the response, I was not quite that elegant. I was not nasty or accusatory, I just told her, that I had nothing to "snoop" at, I didn't really care what she was doing. For probably the first half of our marriage (conservatively), I was verbally abusive and very absent (worked ridiculous hours after the kids were born, thought i was doing the right thing so she could be a stay at home Mom). All of this I believed was my contribution to the EA, I was not meeting her needs for conversation, and we had some financial troubles, all these coupled together make her feel "unsafe". When I reassure her "everything is going to be ok, no matter what happens". She becomes very open, and wants to be "chatty". She didn't really react at all when I said "I didn't care" what she was doing, I had no interest in looking any more, because, I can not change whatever it is she is doing. Maybe not the best answer, when I think I am in resorting to LRT, but still becoming more confused at this whole sitch daily.. I guess I have to just do what "feels right", if it is opening her up more, and she is choosing to talk more and spend more time with me, that can not be a bad thing, right??