From the Darkness Comes the Light!

[Denver_2010]

That's a nice 2x4 to the head to anyone reading this!! Nice!!

And she is right 2Step... I know it... and you know it.

"I'll tell you a little secret that most newcomers don't believe. THE LBS DECIDES THE FATE OF THE MARRIAGE OVER 80% OF THE TIME."

Michelle - What do you base this on? Just curious...

BITS
Denver

[Denver_2010]

I would just respond "not at all." And leave it at that.

BITS
Denver

[grr]

2step
i don't think that message warrants a response
not at all
not sending one will send her the right message
i love everything that michelle said

glad you are laughing
keep it up

[2stepboogie]

2step
i don't think that message warrants a response
not at all
not sending one will send her the right message
i love everything that michelle said

glad you are laughing
keep it up

damn grr you joined in about 20 seconds too late. I just responded and I was actually thinking about not responding at all.

M "No. Not at all...."

That was it. If you would of came earlier I would of taken your advice because I debated it

Stay awhile between Mach and Michelle and our fellow BITS I am going home with a black eye today.

[grr]

ahhhhhh
i'm a terrible friend!!

what you sent was fine
not much, just enough

just let it go
it certainly can't do any damage

yesterday was tough all around, wasn't it

ahhhh
while i was writing this my h just called me
just to tell me that he is going to pull up far enough into the driveway at his house (really my house) so i can park in it also

now i can certainly read into that, thinking it is an excuse to call me
but i know better
i am going there in a few minutes because he has fixed up a skateboard/rock and roll room for our son and wants to surprise him
but did he have to call me just to tell me where to park
oh please respond before i start thinking about this too much
too late
but you did fine
responding in that fashion is ok
actually maybe better
if you didn't she might think you were hurt and angry
you did ok 2 step

[2stepboogie]

Why does she defeat you ?

I am really thinking about this.

I would have to say it is my fear to let go. Fear.....

I don't fear a platoon of taliban but I fear the woman I have been with for 10yrs.

[Mach1]

I asked a couple after that too....


???

I don't fear a platoon of taliban but I fear the woman I have been with for 10yrs.

You didn't directly pi$$ the taliban off did you ?


: )

[lostinscared]

You don't fear her. You fear further divide from her. According to attachment theory, your reaction is perfectly normal. So recognize your reaction as perfectly normal, but don't lead with those emotions. Lead with your head. Your head knows that what you are feeling is normal, but it is defeating you at the moment.

Go read Navy's latest thread. Go get a book on this topic. You'll understand perfectly why you are feeling the way you are feeling.

But understand that MWD is asking us to get into our intellectual mind and start dealing with our situation from there. It is so hard to do. I got it. But it is important.

I'm praying for you.

LIS

[2stepboogie]

Mach,

I'm going to respond in my thread this will soon be locked

Lis,

Detaching is really a new emotion for me. I don't think I've ever had to deal with it. I am going to carry this over to my new thread before dmod shuts this down

[Busting Mode]

I'll tell you a little secret that most newcomers don't believe. THE LBS DECIDES THE FATE OF THE MARRIAGE OVER 80% OF THE TIME.

NOT the WAS.

Thank you for that.

You are trying to start a NEW MARRIAGE with her, not revive the old one. She doesn't want things to go back to how they were, and you can't either!

You are not only starting from square one as if dating someone new, but you are starting from a NEGATIVE because of the past hurts.

Patience.

And bless you for that.