Your W does appear to have symptoms of one who is in an A. Is she displaying the same behavior as she did in her other A's?

You said that you didn't feel good about snooping, and you have assured your W that you are not doing it. If she has nothing to hide, why does she need reassured of this? There should be no secrets or privacy in a MR.

I think before going any farther, I would need to know how far you are willing to go in this? Can you deal knowing there is a strong chance of a third party being in the M, or is that a total dealbreaker for you?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!