I think, if it was me, I don't know if I would use either of the words...
I would simply say, I didn't know what was going on, however I felt something was not right, so I did this. I should have asked you directly. I am sorry.
Honest, direct, no blaming of any sort.
Just my opinion so take it for what it is worth.
I generally am not one to beat around the bush too much.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
