W initiated a R talk last night and everything not so good. Apparently the Valentine's card I gave her really set her off. It was mushy and heartfelt. She asked me why I would do that? Don't I know where we are? What has she done to make me think she wanted that? How did I expect her to respond? etc, etc.
It wasn't a fight with yelling or anything, but very very difficult conversation. I tried to both listen and validate and express my feelings too. Very difficult. She said she doesn't know what she wants. I told her I'd wait. She said she didn't believe me. She thinks I'm only here because she's a "trophy" -- she's very beautiful. But with this pain, I swear I'd be gone in a second if I didn't love her deeply - I don't care what she looks like and I told her that. I asked her if she wanted me to leave again, she said no, but couldn't really tell me why.
Today, TM where she says she's sorry she upset me. Still has "ILY" in those messages. I'm so damn confused. I really don't know which way is up.
M: 39 W: 37 Married: 9 D5; S3 "It's Over" 09/26/10 11 Day Sep 10/10 Piecing Starts 11/4/10 Piecing Fails 4/11 I move out 5/11 Hire Lawyer 6/11 - Stall 6/22/11 Piecing #2 - 6/22/11 Home 10/11
