Stop tryin to talk your way out of your actions...
Capiche ?
Exactly 2Step... Time and patience is your FRIEND...
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
She can do whatever the hell she wants. She has! She left you! She moved to another state!
You can't control her. You never could.
You can control you though.
You need to get healthy, mentally and physically. To find your happy place. To find your confidence. To KNOW that no matter what happens, you WILL be fine. You won't just survive, you will THRIVE.
If she chooses not to be with you, that's HER LOSS.
I'll tell you a little secret that most newcomers don't believe. THE LBS DECIDES THE FATE OF THE MARRIAGE OVER 80% OF THE TIME.
NOT the WAS.
She's not in control. She can't control you any more than you can control her.
You are right, your expectations are killing you. You act like one good conversation and she should come home. If you had one good date with a new person would you expect them to move in with you? Of course not!
You are trying to start a NEW MARRIAGE with her, not revive the old one. She doesn't want things to go back to how they were, and you can't either!
You are not only starting from square one as if dating someone new, but you are starting from a NEGATIVE because of the past hurts.
Patience.
You are making SO MUCH progress. Don't shoot yourself in the foot.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Time to stop paying too much attention to the words and start focusing a bit more about the actions.
Classic rookie mistake on my part.
Quote:
Let me ask you a question, do you initiate conversations with her?
Sometimes but no often. Usually she contacts me. I do however initiate on occassion. Yesterday I texted her about Vday but only a short text and that was all. Everything else was her. I would say it is prob 70-30 her.
Denver,
You are right I need to keep the R talks out, for the most part I think that I had done a pretty good job. She will drop a hint and intead of giving a short simple response I go into preaching mode and give out my heart all at once. Sandi adviced me about this awhile ago but I still slip.
She can do whatever the hell she wants. She has! She left you! She moved to another state!
You can't control her. You never could.
You can control you though.
You need to get healthy, mentally and physically. To find your happy place. To find your confidence. To KNOW that no matter what happens, you WILL be fine. You won't just survive, you will THRIVE.
If she chooses not to be with you, that's HER LOSS.
I'll tell you a little secret that most newcomers don't believe. THE LBS DECIDES THE FATE OF THE MARRIAGE OVER 80% OF THE TIME.
NOT the WAS.
She's not in control. She can't control you any more than you can control her.
You are right, your expectations are killing you. You act like one good conversation and she should come home. If you had one good date with a new person would you expect them to move in with you? Of course not!
You are trying to start a NEW MARRIAGE with her, not revive the old one. She doesn't want things to go back to how they were, and you can't either!
You are not only starting from square one as if dating someone new, but you are starting from a NEGATIVE because of the past hurts.
Patience.
You are making SO MUCH progress. Don't shoot yourself in the foot.
Holy Cow now that is what a call a 2x4!! Michelle how much do I owe you? I gotta get my head out of my a$$ and re-focus!! I just read it again. I am going to print it and put it on my mirror, I mean it! THANK YOU.
I am actually laughing out loud right now. No she did not ruin my day you guys have pulled me out of my momentary funk. Between you Michelle and my BITS I am actually laughing out loud.
I still haven't responded but I will. She is incapable of ruining my day. Not today.
