I really don't know about this advice. Seems like wordsmithing to me.
It works well too....
The human mind doesn't think in terms of "do" and "don't"...
It is programmed to think in positive thoughts....
Let me put it this way...
You are standing on the tee box, and you have 155 yards to the green. The problem is that you have to hit over a lake to get there.
You are with your best buddies, and they are kickin your a$$...
So you say over and over..." Don't go in the water"
Chances are for the novice golfer, you are gonna hit one to the scuba gods....
The mind only heard...."go in the water"...
So for a more positive thought, you would say....
"Hit the green "
Make sense ?
You say you trust your therapist....
Do you still ?
I understand where you are going with this. I was just afraid that my wife would take it like I was somehow lessening my apology. I do think avoidance comes across less of an offense as betrayal. As long as I explain that what she did was avoidance as well, and that we are on the same page, I can see how it would work from here on out.
Do you think that I should just dive into using the avoidance? I was thinking more in line as just stating it as a matter of fact that my therapist suggested we use the word due to the heavy tone of the word betrayal. "We have been tossing this word betrayal around pretty loosely. I think it would be better if instead we used the word avoidance instead."
When you asked if I trusted my therapist, at the time we were talking about my couples therapist. This was my individual therapist advice. I think I trust him as well, but his sessions have been 98% me talking lately because I have had so much on my mind. I think in the end, I do or will trust his advice. I have appreciated him, but it is all so new. This is the first time I have been to therapy on my own.
Me - 33 W - 33 S - 9 months M - 3 years T - 5.5 years Bomb - 12/14/10 ILYBNILWY PA discovered - 1/18/11 PA began - 3/22/10 Separated
