I was thinking about sending W a text to see how her eye was feeling today but I got sidetracked and did not. At 12:36PM I get this
w "Worse today. Woke up with my eye completely swollen shut"
M "I was just thinking about u. Didn't know if u were sleeping or not. I guess that answers my question. Are u going into work?"
W "I've been at work....at lunch"
M "Can't imagine why they would have u sit there gretting customers looking like u just came out of a UFC try out"
W "Because they are stupid and it's a stupid job"
M " I am sorry"
W "U should be...just kidding lol"
M "No you are not but I am"
W "LOL U know me well H..lol"
W "If u werent' a jerk I woulnd't have this stupid job...sorry I am in a mood and u always get the brunt..I am sorry"
M "Not as good as I should have. It's ok I know how u feel. If I wasn't such an ahole u would be at (old job) drinking and hanging out with the girls during lunch. So yes......I am sorry"
W "But I still don't know why u were an ahole. What did I do that upset you so much? but anyway. Thank you for the apology. It is appreciated"
M "It wasn't u, it really wasn't, it was me. I stop hearing u...I stopped being there....And I stopped loving you. For that I am sorry, you have no idea, I tell you the hardest part is knowing I hurt u and knowing how u feel. If I was still blind I would not feel this way. But I am not, I see it. I get it. And I am sorry"
W "I'm sorry I wasn't meaning to make u feel bad. Hope u have a good day afternoon"
M "You didn't I promise" You too hope your eye gets better"
W "OK Thank you"
I finished my lunch and headed to the office. I was happy to hear from W, even if it through a text. 30 minutes pass
W "WOW to see it in words that u stopped loving me...thats tough to read even now after everything"
A minute or so later
W "I know I stopped loving u enough too...But it still sad to read it"
M "I stopped loving u how it mattered, out of pride, ignorance, and sutbborness. The way I feel for u now is the way I should have felt for u always and the way I will always feel. I broke my vows to love u and cherish my wife. I am sorry. I would spend my life loving u how u should be loved if it was up to me"
A few minutes pass
W "And as sad and heartbreaking as it is I don't think I can give u that chance...I hope u understand"
M "I do"
A few minutes pass
W "I just can't"
W "U had my heart once. I can't give it back tho"
At this point I just don't know what to say if anything. sigh big sigh.
but I am"
