WAW on the Peninsula

[Redo]

I'm feeling backed into a corner this morning. W has scheduled an appointment with the document company for next Wednesday to begin the process of D. I knew the time was getting close.

As of right now, W plans on moving to another state soon and leave the kids with me until the summer to finish school. She wants to get established (get a job and a place) before taking them with her. She has asked to get them a month before school begins to get them acclimated to their new surroundings. If we go with her plan, I will be lucky to see my kids for 3 months out of the year, unless I move near them. That is completely unacceptable to me. Of course when I bring up the fact that her situation isn't any different than mine and they can stay with me......she doesn't like the thought of that one bit. She gets upset. It's maddening, but I have to continue to keep my composure.

Here are my thoughts. If we file uncontested, that will buy me nearly 6 months to save our M without getting into the ugliness of D. That will also give me time to weigh all of my options and see how things play out up to that point. Also, it will give her time to be on her own without me and the kids. Hopefully she will realize that is not what she wants and the life that she is throwing away isn't bad at all. Only time will tell.

If we continue down this path, then I can always hire an attorney after we file the uncontested (before it is final) to fight for custody of our kids. I really don't want to do that, because it will push me further or completely away from my goal.

Perhaps some of you that have been down this path can weigh in with your thoughts. Thanks

Don't know if this helps. My W is with my daughter about 250miles away from me. She filed for divorce with mediation. But i decided not to use a lawyer. I talked with her regarding the asset splits and custody issues and we came to an agreement. My reasoning for not using a lawyer is that when we do attempt to get back, i did not want the acrimony of the lawyer assisted divorce to be thorn during our reconciliation. That and the fact the lawyers were going to charge an arm and leg for this. But I am also taking a big risk because I did make more concessions to my W than she did to me. But thats okay. I still love her.

I too thought about pushing the divorce deadline out, but i started reasoning that unless she's free (like she wants to be after the divorce), she might not come out of fog. She might blame me even more for having denied her, her freedom.

If you do chose a lawyer, make sure that the situation will not escalate into fighting. Just my 2 cents.