Had a nice conversation with W this morning. We covered plenty of ground how we and other people (some of her friends) get to this point in R/M and what can be done to prevent it. I didn't do any pursuing as it appears she is still checked out of our M emotionally. I hope she will reconsider. I will continue to be patient.
She wants to let the kids know that she is moving (plans to move sometime in April). I don't ever want to tell them and hope things can be resolved before that point. Unfortunately she would like to tell them this Thursday. Any advice on how to handle the devastation that they will face? I have bought as much time as possible and I don't think I can buy anymore.
Again, sorry this is late reply. Here are my 2 cents.
A. I read on a couple of divorce websites where they recommend (since y'all have a 4-yo) to tell the younger kids a few days or a week before the actual physical separation, because they don't have a good concept of time, so telling them in advance creates a high anxiety level in them. E.g. If you told your 4-yo he was going to see, say, Disneyland to see Mickey a few days before the trip, he talks about it all the time, and he has a harder time sleeping or staying asleep, right? Well, he'll behave the same if you told him a month before.
B. If your wife goes ahead and tells them, you have to step up and comfort them. Be the best father you can be, the best support system. If you can hold up that fort, your wife might actually see it. She still has to live with the consequences of her decision, but you nor your kids don't have to dragged down along with it.
