WAW tearing up our family

[Redo]

So, in addition to wrecking our family, saying she had to leave to that she could feel ok about dating other people, demanding we lose $40k we put in our house by selling now,

Wow that's a good chunk of money to lose. Did you tell her that if you guys could sell the house without time restrictions, then that 40k could be applied to your kid's education? I told that to my W and she agreed to us not selling the house if it was under water.