just listen

validate her anger and feelings of betrayal

apologize for telling your parents (I would leave out the whole part about telling them 1st...honestly, this is YOUR marriage...your parents don't need to know anything that is your business, really)

I wouldn't take notes...I would be irked if I were trying to talk and someone was taking notes instead of listening

apologize for snooping in her email
Certainly use your therapist's approach but never put a but in there

I am sorry I broke into your email account. I was terrified I was losing you and was trying to find something, anything, to give me clues as to what was going on.

I was wrong

I should have asked you and then really listened to your answers.

I broke your trust by snooping through your private things and that was wrong.


I have no idea why she would ask if you have copies and I have no idea why you would keep copies unless you are planning to do something vindictive with them