Here we go AGAIN....

[AJM80]

Wanda, deep breathe - don't deny your feelings, but think about it this way - he's scared, he screwed up his life, and it's a major day for you guys - holiday about love/anniversary. Maybe he's still a jerk, but maybe he's scared about continuing to move forward/freaking out about the pressure/worried he'll blow it/self-sabotaging/testing you. What's the saying about assumptions - I assume makes an a$$ out of "u" and "me"?

Remember your goals. Set boundaries, take time away/get distance when you need to. Also, one thing that really worked for me - I have been trying to be very clear about what I want (not heavy relationship stuff, little day to day things) - for example, a few weeks ago (after a big 0 christmas/anniversary), I told him in a casual convo that I expected him to get me gifts on behalf of the kids, until they were old enough to do it themselves. Hallelujah, guess who got a little V day gift from each of her babies. It was more thought than he put into my 1st mother's day - I was really appreciative, since I want to encourage that thoughtfulness (and it was sweet).

So, keeping being kind, keep lighting the way back. Tell him some time next week that you want him to bring a bucket of KFC and you'll have ice cream (or some other fav dessert), since you were both busy with other things on Vday. If it goes well, maybe you watch a movie....or maybe you keep a little more space/let things play out slowly.