please help on what i need to do.

[Redo]

Journalling:

I thought that things would get better. They seem to be getting worse. Somehow this week has been worse than previous weeks.

I guess it's the fact that the divorce date is approaching soon and my W seems to have no interest whatsoever in even re-thinking about it.

The only thing she does is call me and say that my D has been asking about me. Honestly i hate it when she does that, because then i feel even more sh*tty about whats going on. I am not sure if just telling me this or if she's trying to gauge my reactions. I am not sure anymore.

I just feel like curling up and sleeping. Somehow i cannot seem to rise above my grief. Even when i try to GAL, i am feeling guilty that 'how dare i do these things for myself when my W and my daughter are struggling'. I know that they are safe and doing fine with my W's family. But I have this tremendous amount of guilt for doing anything for myself. I just gotta figure out how to get out of this.