Recovering after a same sex affair

[sparks14]

Good morning so far. After last night's Valentine's night blues when I went over to her brother's and she showed me the gifts that hr brother gave her (wife's favorite gerber daisies that I have always gotten for her even on the random days), the last text I got from my wife was just to check on me and my son. We talked about her coming over int he morning to pick him up and that I had offered breakfast and coffee. I offered only because the situation at her brother's does not make it easy to do these little things... like make meals. He is a messy dude.

I had been up with the baby since 6:00, so I had set up cereal and bowls as well as coffee mugs for breakfast. She sent a text telling me that she was on her way but picking up treats. When she arrived at 7:30, she brought a bag of kolaches from the bakery down the street. Nice surprise. I made coffee. She nursed our son and put him down for a nap.

We had a nice casual visit until I had to go to my office to work. She ended up hanging out until 10:00. This is a major plus, becuase just last week in couple's therapy, she mentioned that she did not feel safe in this house and did not want to spend any time here.

I took Bolt's advice from his goal setting thread and will not text or call her today. She will probably reach out to make sure the time for me to pick her up on the way to couples therapy.

Good morning so far. Have to stick to my goal. I will write later about preparing for therapy tonight. I need to own up and apologize for the hurt she feels for me telling my parents about the affair before her as well as hacking into her email to discover the affair. I talked to my therapist last night about the approach, but I would love the BITS advice. I will post again a little later with my thoughts.