After a difficult day of waiting, Beckie finally messaged me last night:
"Hey just wanted to say happy valentines day even though with what were dealing with or isn't a very good holiday but as your friend I wanted to say hi on this day of love!! Not been that good of for me dealing with [14 year old daughter] and her getting suspended for smoking in the bathroom but I'm trying to deal with this with patience and understanding hope you has a better day!"
Throughout the day I had been thinking that she was deliberately not talking, because I believed that after getting the divorce papers notarized, she was trying to distance herself from me.
That was a mistake on my part. It led to feelings of anguish and despair inside of me which fortunately I did not act upon, but made me feel like hell.
Now I feel there is some hope because she is still coming to me in crisis.
Not sure how to help her with this crisis but I know that she is hurting. I am thinking of sending her an email, suggesting she can either go to a counselor on her own, or even together if she wants to get some unbiased perspective.
Not sure yet if that is the best thing for me to do, so I'm just putting it out there to see how it might feel.
Hmmm. Maybe that is just what she is doing with the divorce papers...
I am being the possibility of:
1) Integrity 2) Loving myself completely. 3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.
