Lost, I just got caught up on your posts and I still think you are doing fine. I do want to hit you with one 2x4 though. Don't "turn the tables" and become the non-functioning member of the R. My MC constantly pointed that out to my W and I during our counseling. One of us would finally get the courage up to try something different and the other partner would then take up the role of being the non-functioning member. Don't do that. If your H is looking to fix things, work with him, not against him. This spits in the face of the entire principle of DB'ing. If he is coming back around, don't turn him back toward the door.
Yes, take him out on a date and find a way to relax around him. Go do something that the two of you always loved to do together. Relieve some of the tension between you and see where that goes. It can't possibly hurt.
And stop feeling like you are falling behind. The next time you feel that way, just turn and look over your shoulder. You will see me sitting by the roadside miles and miles behind you. My W won't even stay in my presence for more than a few minutes now. I am sorry to disappoint the BITS, but I still think I was right. All the friendliness during the conversations about her getting furniture and money was a set up. As soon as she had what she needed the pleasantries and the phone calls just stopped. I got played and I have to admit it. Take stock in where you are and enjoy it. Don't kill it!! I love you sweetheart, but I would walk through a razor blade forest naked and covered in rubbing alcohol to get where you are right now...
BITS never walk alone!
FOBD
Me: 39 W: 36 T: 15 yrs M: 9 yrs S: 09/10
So you can get on with your search, baby And I can get on with mine And maybe someday we will find, That it wasn't really wasted time...
