Dear christianhusband
I'm going to put a different perspective on this for you that perhaps will ease the hurt in your heart.
I am a woman that never took my husband's name.
Why?
I was born with my name. I wore it for all my life. It was part of my identity - where I came from, who I was.
To change it to the name of the man I loved was ok in theory, BUT it erased my history and my identity too...instead I was then wife of (and just 80 or so years ago I would have also been property of) _______________ .

Perhaps she's not trying to get rid of your name, just reclaiming her history and previous identity.
HTH.
(((Christianhusband)))

BITS
Me-51, WAS-52
Kids 2
M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013
Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice.
Love is a action and choice you make, every day.