W then said that she doesn't know how to move forward (or something along these lines). She asked me how I felt about OM still being in her life as a friend while things are still in limbo with us. She explained that she doesn't want to just 'shoo' him off while we decide whether or not we are really working on M. She explained that OM is good to her and that she would still want to give him a chance if we decided not to work on things. She reiterated that once we decide to really work on things that there will be NO R bw she and OM.
How do you feel about this? Vets correct me if I am totally missing the mark here but is this not cake eating? Now I understand Denver you are in a very sticky sitch here because you have very little leverage. I also understand that the R talk is a total of 4 days old with another to follow. No firm commitments have been made. So.....How do you feel about this? Ultimately it is up to you, what are the boundaries you feel comfortable with? Her hesitation I understand this must be very scary for her but.................
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W agreed and said that she hates having her life so messed up. That she is not a patient person and that she just wants to know what direction that she is going.
My W is the same way. She doesn't like to wait but this is where you come in. You need to be patient for the both of you at this point. I think it will take some time before she fully commits to anything for the meantime you will do all the work.
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OM is really good to me"
"That he has treated her like she wanted me to treat her all our years together"
This is an illusion and you know it. I think that after the shine wears off she will be left with reality. Will you still be there? What is your goal? What are you willing to do?
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This is hell. I hate feeling that I am competing for OM with my own W. I guess that's the reality of the sitch now though.
I will not comment on this because I will be a hypocrite if I do. I am dying to hear what Gritter, J3B and the others have to say about it.
I have no doubt who is the better man here the question is would I give that man advice that I would not take myself.
The road is long the journey hard only you know if it is worth it. Is your W worth it to you? If your M worth it you? What are you willing to do to achieve success?
