That all sounds really great Hope! I'm happy to hear that things are looking up this week.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Hope, I am not a BIT, but I have been lurking on these threads. This is good news. One of the other threads or maybe this one, they blur a bit when I am this tired mentioned baby steps. Yes baby steps, but baby steps forward to your goals.
I wish you all success!
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
Hope, things seem to be moving along for you; you lucky dog! Keep up the good work. Sounds like this week is starting off well for you!
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
Hope - We haven't heard from you in a few days. How are things going? Are you okay?
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I'm back in town. V day was ok. H made no special effort, nothing very personalized. Trip was ok, H got cranky on the way home. Moving day is tomorrow, H won't be helping. The boys have baseball tryouts and rather than asking them to get a ride, he will stay there. As usual, I'm left to deal with my stuff alone but Sunday he wants me to spend all day helping with his work software. I'm trying but every time he hurts me, I love him less.
Me - 38, 2nd M, no living children, 1 forever 6 yr old boy H - 44, 3rd M, twins 16
Dating 4/07 M 10/08 Bomb #1 12/10 Bomb #2 1/11 Bomb #3 12/11
It's 12:30 am here. I have to get up at 6:00 am but I'm so angry I can't sleep. H was supposed to help me move tomorrow. I have a ton of boxes (75+) and some furniture to move to the new office. Moving was HIS idea, he wanted my office out of the house because it takes up so much room. I have no employees or co-workers so it's just me. I did get a friend to help with her pick up truck and my sister is driving 2 and a half hours from out of state to help me. So 4 of us doing the moving. The boys are at their mom's house and even if we did have them this weekend, they wouldn't help unless they were paid (don't get me started on that!).
The XW calls at 6:00, she has a family emergency (a pretty bad one) and asks H if he can pick up the boys from her house tomorrow and take them to baseball tryouts at 11 am and pick them up 1:30 pm. An hour from where we live so that's 10 am to 2:30 pm tomorrow. Right when I'm moving. What does he say to her? YES. How horrible her crisis is and that she's leaving at 10 in the morning to go out of town. Her weekend with the boys. Of course he can get them and sit at the game. Did he talk to me first? Did he ask me what I'd do with my obligation to move? No. Did he even think about me in this scenario? No. The XW is remarried, she has an H and many local friends that could help her out tomorrow had H said no, that he had another obligation. He could even call the kid who lives down the street and ask him to give the boys a ride. But why do that when this is the perfect opportunity to ditch helping me move? He hates moving. The 3 moves we've done, I did all the packing, planning, moving, a lot of the lifting, finding help, etc.
So here I am again, ditched. On the bottom of his priority list. Me and 2 other women moving boxes all day sweating while he's sitting at a baseball scrimmage in the shade playing on his blackberry and relaxing. Did I mention I have a hernia? Or how embarrassing it already is that I have a 2 teenage boys who refuse to help do anything and now my husband won't even be around to help. When he pretty much forced me to move my office out!!!!!
I just want him to care about me. Why is that so bad? I'm so tired of not mattering.
Me - 38, 2nd M, no living children, 1 forever 6 yr old boy H - 44, 3rd M, twins 16
Dating 4/07 M 10/08 Bomb #1 12/10 Bomb #2 1/11 Bomb #3 12/11
Hope, I'm so sorry to hear all of that. You deserve everything that you are asking for. I don't blame you for being angry.
I will help you move! What time do you start??
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
This morning he's being his old rude self. Yelling and screaming and it's MY fault for expecting him to be there. That I'm a horrible b#$(&#$ for expecting him to be there for me now. He even said FU to me a few times.
It's the same cycle over and over. He's never there when I need him and then he yells and puts me down and makes it even worse. What man does that? Every time he does this all the hurt and pain from all the other times he's done this comes back. All the events I had to go to alone, him leaving me the truck overnight in January, family stress and work stress I had to deal with alone.
He'll never change.
Me - 38, 2nd M, no living children, 1 forever 6 yr old boy H - 44, 3rd M, twins 16
Dating 4/07 M 10/08 Bomb #1 12/10 Bomb #2 1/11 Bomb #3 12/11
If I am going to be honest hope.......This man! Me! When we moved to Jersey we stayed at my brothers for a few days. My W found and apartment because I had no interest in looking at did not like the search. She went out and found an apt. She looked at it I don't think I even saw it. My reasoning
M "babe that's your thing. You like doing that so go do it. Just let me know the address so that I can get home"
Come moving day I volunteered to do some extra duty and left her to move to this apartment all by herself. I showed up with a few friends to move the big stuff put it in the apt and left. My friends asked if I was going to help.
My response.....
M "na she loves this stuff. It will all be done when I get back in a few days. W is awesome at this stuff"
Again it happened when I was deployed she had to move all by herself.
The point is hope during this time I never considered it a jerk move to think or act this way, that prob makes me an even bigger jerk!
I know you are upset and I know what he is doing does not make you feel love in the least. There is hope, hope I did not see until it was too late, but if I can change.......anyone can
