question for husbands who have had affairs

[abbey1989]

Hi,

I believe my H of 22 years is having an affair. I think it has been going on for two or so years. He has been very discreet and still lives here at home, shares our bed, makes love with me and is very involved with our teenage children.

Did I mention that we own our own busines and that I run the office?

H is 52 and I am 46.

I know every situtation is different. Two years ago he expressed that his issue with me was that I never initiated sex. So I took that to heart and have since initiated a few times per week. He is a nice person, but very to himself and quiet. I am finding that after throwing myself out there, offering to ML, but knowing he has someone else too, is just killing my self esteem. I am the kind of person who doesn't make waves. This OW does not have a family, she is highly educated, very fit, outdoorsy, (not that cute though - ha ha) and a little younger.

So today is Valentine's Day. I started his morning with a little "initiation". We had fun, but he hasn't called all day. I'm sure he's finding time for OW today.


Which brings me to my questions:
Why would my H stay with me if he is involved with someone else? Do you think after two years he is planning to split with me soon? My son is in college and my daughter will be leaving for college in the fall. When a W is too nice, too forgiving, too sweet is that a turn-off? Does that just say to him....Sure H, go out and have the time of your life with OW? Should I continue to play the "naughty wife" in bed which he loves, when it makes me feel like a tramp? Why is he looking outside of "us" for someone t meet his needs?