2 years later it's still not getting easier

[whitneypinch]

Augtan,

I am sooo sorry to hear that you and your daughter are struggling.
I am from divorce myself. My mom separated from my father and he just took off for years. Then I would only see him a few times a year. I carried resentment around for a long time. When I got divorced my father basically said "oh, well". Boy did I lay into him. I let him know exactly what I felt from all the years.

I am glad your daughter "got it out". There is nothing worse than to let emotions fester.
Sadly, you XH is never going to tell your daughter or you that he should have tried harder. That would be a admittance that he was at fault. We all know that our Xs will never do that, especially if the are in a MLC.
My X actually said she was sorry and always would be.

Of course it's classic MLC for them to rewrite history to make us out as the bad guy. I too have experienced that with my X.

2x4 coming......get off Facebook. At least remove him as a friend. I did that in the first weeks of my separation as it was just too painful to see.

Unfortunately our Xs do think it's all going to be good moving forward. It's their selfish thinking.

I have been really good and have not contacted my X. She has contacted me but just about kid stuff. I am noticing that when she does contact me now she seems agitated at me. Good !! Go and stew in it.

I dropped off some gifts for my kids last night while they were out. I even gave my X a beautiful candid photo I took of the kids. I had it blow-up to 24" x 20". I even made the Oak frame for it. Last night the kids video Skyped me and my X came on the screen and said "thanks, it's a nice picture". That's it, that is all she said.
I continue to say to myself "you did a nice thing and who cares what she said". It's who I want to be.

I stopped by my kids school tonight to say hi and I gave my 8 year old daughter 3 roses.

I too have been laying low on the boards. By constantly talking about it, it gives it energy.

I think today was very hard on all us LBSs.

I am alone tonight so I am going to go to my favorit place and sit at the bar and have dinner and a nice microbrewery beer.

Tomorrow will be better day for all of us.