WAS and doormats

[Redo]

That being said ... please, please, PLEASE ... do not make consessions BECAUSE you think they will wake your wife up and make her see just how much you have changed and have her come running back to you. Why not? You might ask ... because you need to make sure that your and your child’s best interests are also taken care of. I don’t know the specifics of the consessions you’ve made, nor am I a lawyer, but I do know that I have seen some LBSs end up very resentful and hurt in the long term. Do what’s right. Period. Don’t be an a$$ to deal with, continue to take the high road ... but don’t give away the farm either ...
Peace,
PEI

I agree with you completely. Yup, I used to do things to make her happy or to be in her good graces(which i have learnt last week is also called adult-anxiety-attachment). But over the years I have also grown to let-go...without any resentment. Sometimes this letting go makes me feel better.

But i do see a problem here. There might be a thin line in letting go of stuff for the greater good and letting go of stuff because you are trying to appease your wife. The latter case is where there are no good boundaries and your spouse, even with good intentions can take advantage of you.

The only thing that scares me is that my W viewing this is some kind of weak behavior and looks down at it. Because at the end of the day i would still want her to come back to me.