Like in my case when W and i were discussing some divorce details like assets and custody, I was very accommodating to some of my W's requests regarding money and some custody issues. For me it did not feel like i was making concessions because i was scared of her. I was making them because i love her and wanted to show her that i still care for her. But the feedback i got from some of my family and friends was that i was being a doormat still and i need man up and fight. But my thinking is that fighting will not achieve anything but just spawn negative feelings. Others may think that fighting will show the spouse that you are not gonna lay down and take it.
MK,
The term “doormat” is very subjective and I guarentee that your friends and family will not understand your chosen path. That being said ... please, please, PLEASE ... do not make consessions BECAUSE you think they will wake your wife up and make her see just how much you have changed and have her come running back to you. Why not? You might ask ... because you need to make sure that your and your child’s best interests are also taken care of. I don’t know the specifics of the consessions you’ve made, nor am I a lawyer, but I do know that I have seen some LBSs end up very resentful and hurt in the long term. Do what’s right. Period. Don’t be an a$$ to deal with, continue to take the high road ... but don’t give away the farm either ...
Peace, PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
