WAS and doormats

[Redo]

All:

I came across this a lot and thought it would be nice to see what people think about this.

Yup most of our spouses seem to be WAS. So once that happens, LBS tries to DB, become strong and hope that WAS realizes what was being thrown away and hopefully comes back.

Now along the way some of the LBS actions might look like a doormat behavior. I guess i am trying to figure out where do we draw the line on being a doormat and being a person that takes a higher ground.

Like in my case when W and i were discussing some divorce details like assets and custody, I was very accommodating to some of my W's requests regarding money and some custody issues. For me it did not feel like i was making concessions because i was scared of her. I was making them because i love her and wanted to show her that i still care for her. But the feedback i got from some of my family and friends was that i was being a doormat still and i need man up and fight. But my thinking is that fighting will not achieve anything but just spawn negative feelings. Others may think that fighting will show the spouse that you are not gonna lay down and take it.

So I'd like to know what people's take on this is. What would be a doormat behavior and what would be considered as taking the higher ground.