Newbie post What to do now

[JustStunned]

Saturday, I had a cup of coffee and spoke with one of the SILs, nothing about my sitch, just small talk. She congratulated me on what little GAL I’ve been able to do. Her boyfriend was interested in the CC skiing. Too bad we are at the end of the season.

I had a little contact with W. I initiated a text message about her old expired credit cards stored in the safe. She called asking about replacements cards for the ones she is carrying now. I had to tell her they are not here. When she planned her escape she packed several bags and cached them with family and friends. She lost her extra checks for a week this way. I was accused of shedding the checks. I don’t know what I am accused of about the cc cards. Doubtless the replacement cc cards are stashed somewhere. It is all irrational, but from information about WAS on this board seems to fit.

She will stop at the house on Thursday to discuss what to clean on Saturday. It'll be the first time in two weeks she will see my smiling happy confident face. I am debating whether to remove most of the pictures of us from display in the house. They are beginning to depress me so I probably will pack them away

Yesterday Mom asked if W had moved back home. I had to tell her no and a little bit more about the sitch. I previously had been making meals ahead for her like W and I used to, talking about W, and what we were doing, keeping the R alive for her. I just can’t keep up that part of the charade any longer. Mom is pretty much house bound when the weather get bad so I’ve been grocery shopping and taking her to Dr appts.

Mom is taking this pretty hard, she is sorry for me. She reminded me the last time W was hospitalized for depression W blamed all her problems on Mom. W still does blame my Mom and her Mom for a lot of issues. Now she blames me. When will she realize all of these people are not at fault? That her happiness is dependant upon how she perceives and communicates. She’s never reconciled with her mother; she only just tolerates my mother, so why should I hope she’ll try and build a new R within our M?

I’ve interacted more with mom in the last six weeks than I have with W. Yesterday was a bad day. Today is not much better. Time to suck it up and get moving I have lost 22 lbs to the anxiety of separation program. I’ll start lifting again when that part of the basement gets straighten. It is next on my list. joining a gym isn't finacially possible.

Tomorrow I have archery leagues so at least I’ll get out and socialize there.