WAW tearing up our family

[zengypsy]

Ok, one more dilemma ..... could use some input.

I have done all the work on our cars, and am quite mechanically inclined.

My W's car started having some issues this weekend. She called me, I told her, "I don't know what to tell you". Which was true. Now, I could probably diagnose the issue and then see if its something that I could fix or needed to be taken to the mechanic. But, W hasn't asked, so I haven't offered. She said "where should I take it?", and again, I truthfully said I don't know. She asked, the dealer? I said "heck no", that will cost you too much $$.

I am struggling with this. I feel that if she doesn't ask me to take a look at it, that I shouldn't volunteer. That she needs to get a handle on what life without me will be like. But, I'm having a hard time not just fixing this. I am Mr Fix it .... and really one of the problems that I had was always trying to fix her. So, I think I should let her struggle thru this as much as it pains me. Am I being too cold?

IM, no I don't think you are being too cold. You are a nice guy and IMHO, if you continue to do things for her, you will become a doormat. What I would suggest is maybe say, ask around (friends, family) to see anyone can recommend a good mechanic for you. I would suggest someone myself, but I don't know anyone. Good luck. Something to that effect. Does any of the other bits agree?

As my STXH said to me, we have to start to live life without each other. That gutted me, but to some degree he is correct.