the OW is not the problem

she is a symptom of the problem

I would spend that valuable therapy time talking about the problem instead of the symptom

don't get tangled int he small stuff (I know it isn't really SMALL) but shelving the OW isn't what is important

it is figuring out why there WAS an OW...what areas have been missing, what areas need work, where you both are

I would maybe not pretened but pretend the OW isn't an issue...