I haven't read your thread yet, but it's now on my "to read" list. You sound as though you are in a great place now - congrats.
I think S_C and I have been through similar stuff. I kept "taking him back" because I love him and I couldn't envision giving up on my marriage and breaking my vows.
Then the distance became so severe, I suggested I leave. I kept thinking it couldn't be worse than it was- totally ignored emotionally by my H.
I regrouped and wanted to move forward, but the damage was done. Unbeknownst to me, he was planning his escape. He told his sister he left before he got hurt. He was confused. He didn't know if he could make me happy. He acted as if he hated me after he dropped the ILYbut bomb. The OW appeared, and I think the female vultures are as bad as the males.
A mutual friend said "I hope you work it out, but if there is an A, that's a deal breaker." I said no it's not. He looked floored, but I told him I still love H, and there was no reason to not work on a new marriage with H. I don't see that as being a doormat. If others see as that, who cares? I'd have be with the man I love, and hopefully creating a wonderful marriage with him. It's my life, not theirs.
I think I'm acting As If, and detaching, and GAL. He comes by occasionally, we text occasionally. Not sure what else I should be doing. No R talks since early December - he know I want to work on the marriage, and he said the door wasn't shut. I'm truly in limbo, not sure if I should be packing up to leave the house bec it will need to sell if we D. Wondering where I'll be in 6 months. No talk of filing from him, even though I expected it Jan 1. The longer he delays, the longer I have to work on me, and maybe he'll come around.
