happy valentines day everyone i need to vent to you or i will write him
and that would be wrong, right??
18 years ago today, my husband and i had our first real date
we had met about 5 months prior, when i was working at a music/tv station in ny
we were taping a pilot for a new talk, music show (hosted by a comedian who is now sort of a political icon)
my husbands band was slated to play on the first of 2 shows we were tapiing that day i met them and didn't think anything of him during the day it was apparent that the band for show 2 could not make it to ny husbands band was asked to play for that show as well, so he was around all day, deciding he was interested in me after the first show taped he asked me out for that night i said no i had worked there for a long time and never went out with guys in bands i thought it was wrong he was persistent and asked me why not i couldn't really think of a good answer so i said "sure, we have a wrap party tonight, come with me to that" much to the chagrin of my co-workers i thought, this will be easy, i can take him to the party and it wont be like a "date" date i met him later outside his hotel (i didn't want him to come to my apartment) and we walked to the party once there, the throngs of girls descended on him and i thought "good, now i don't have to hang out with him" he approached me, and said "this was not what i wanted. i wanted to get to know you" that warmed my heart a bit we left and spent the next hour walking through central park
we kept in touch, just a bit, but i didn't think too much about hime
right before valentines day (18 years ago) he called and told me he was playing in nyc and would i be his valentine
i said ok and kind of looked forward to seeing him again
the day came and he showed up at my apartment to hang out a bit before soundcheck when i opened the door and saw him there, i felt differently about him when he kissed me hello, i fell a bit deeper
we had a great day, came to my place after his show and from that moment on, we were us
we dated for a year and a half, long distance, before he asked me to marry him
it's hard to look back on how much promise we had and see how it is ending now
sorry to be so glum, my dear BITS...but this is how i'm feeling today
i would love you to share your "meeting" stories, if any of you are so inclined
i hope this day is wonderful for all of you
much love and good thoughts coming to you from across this internet space
I met my H without even looking. A friend of his was temping at the company I was working for at the time. His friend noticed in my cube that I had pics of bands up (Motley Crue etc., yes, I am a total 80's metal rocker chick!) He said you should come see my band practice one night. I said sure. So I did. They weren't that great, but I've always been connected to the biz side of the industry in some way or another as a hobby. (and no not as a groupie!)
The guitar player was smokin' hot! I tried to get his attention but to no avail. I decided that he must be gay because he never was with any girls. The guy who temped at my office said that my H was interested in a gf of mine but I knew she wasn't interested in him in the very least. My H was the drummer in the band. He and I started to hang out and at some point we started dating. That was back in 1991. 3 years later he asked me to marry him at our town beach overlooking the water. I had no idea he was planning this and it was the best day of my life next to my wedding day.
Like you said grr, so much promise we had and now to be in this sitch 20 yrs later with a pending D is just really sad. We all never thought we'd be in this sitch at this stage of our lives. But we are and we band together to be better every day and still hope we can salvage something with our S.
Hugs to all my BITS today. I know it's going to be a hard day for all of us LBS's.
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
I almost see this going 2 ways .... first of all .... it is sad to reflect on how we met our spouses. Sad for me at least.
But on the other side .... it is fun to think about those times. And, our WAS's are going to lose out on some good catches ... they are walking the razor's edge and for some of us it is already gone. And, if it goes that way ... then we will have new memories with people that don't abandon us.
Either way, we will have good lives. Don't forget that. This isn't a death sentence. This is a crossroads between two bumpy, but beautiful paths.
And, I bought myself something for V-day this year ... an ipod/bluetooth adapter for one of my cars. Cool eh? I bet WASs aren't that happy about having a strange V-day either.
B.I.T.S
Formerly known as onStepAtATime Me:31 W:31 T:13 yrs M:8 yrs D: 20 months ILYBNILWY: 9/22/10 "I want a separation" 1/05/11
No doubt that this is an extremely hard day for many of you ... myself included.
my ex bf dumped me on valentines and my current H has always tried to make that day special for me, i guess part of me is still hoping that he'll swoop in and rescue me today. I re-read a electronic V card that I had saved that he had sent me a couple of years ago, just a cutesy card that i thought was adorable but the message was heartfelt saying how much he loved me and we'd be together forever. ouch my heart.
what is it with musicians eh ? I'll actually be spending tonight with my band.. as i'm sitting here listening to my ipod at work going over my songs, i realize i've got some sappy crap on there so i'll literally be singing the blues tonight! lol
I'm thankful i'll be doing something I love though and with some really awesome guys who always make me laugh and will help keep my mind off things. We normally get together on Sundays and I think they may have deliberately switched practice behind my back so I wouldn't be alone tonight... sweet.
We all have beautiful memories that we hold so precious and it makes us realize what we have lost and this day just exaggerates that fact for many of us, but it's not the end. Take the time to reflect and remember the love that is in your heart and the love you have for your spouse and focus on some day having that again in your marriage . I hope it brings joy to your heart rather than pain.
There is always a light in the darkest days.
*hugs to you all*
Me-41 H-34 T-9 M-8 10/21/10-BOMB 11/01/10-H moves out 01/27/12-H files
"Good memories tell you that your past was worth it, bad ones tell you that you were strong enough to go on"
No one can take those memories away from you. They'll always be YOURS. I can understand why you're down today. I freaking HATE V-day. Always have, always will. I remember my first V-day without my first love and it soured me from there. 12 hours to go until this miserable day is over. That's all I do is count it down.
Everyone has such nice, romantic meeting stories. When I met my H, we HATED each other. For two years. I still remember our first interchange... me: "well you don't need to be such an a$$ about it." H: "And you don't need to be such a b&tch." And we were off to the races...
Hahahaha... kind of funny thinking back on it now.
I almost see this going 2 ways .... first of all .... it is sad to reflect on how we met our spouses. Sad for me at least.
But on the other side .... it is fun to think about those times. And, our WAS's are going to lose out on some good catches ... they are walking the razor's edge and for some of us it is already gone. And, if it goes that way ... then we will have new memories with people that don't abandon us.
Either way, we will have good lives. Don't forget that. This isn't a death sentence. This is a crossroads between two bumpy, but beautiful paths.
And, I bought myself something for V-day this year ... an ipod/bluetooth adapter for one of my cars. Cool eh? I bet WASs aren't that happy about having a strange V-day either.
I'm sure my H is happy about not having to get me anything. If he is involved with OW, I'm sure he's happy to get her something though....
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
thanks for sharing everyone lis that is funny!! but it makes me sad that we wish the hours of this day away we should all find something to celebrate about
make it a goal to not think about it today - do something great for yourself - go to a movie, spa, mani/pedi, whatever but do it for you...
just to jump in - My good friend was interested in my W before we even met. He was too chicken to go talk to her and I was very confident. I walked over to her and chatted away (it was easy because she was beautiful). My buddy was still too chicken so I said, "Dude, if you're not going to, I will" and did
We dated for a while - she didn't give it up for the longest time (good thing) - that made me want her even more. After a while, I would try to break up with her but as soon as I did, I wanted her back (sense a pattern?) until we finally got married...
I wish you all the best today - stay strong and positive!!
m 40 w 38 married 15 together 18 d11, d8 bomb 12/19/10 2nd bomb 3/30/11 COMPLETELY DONE
ahhhh he is coming here in a half hour we are going to my sons class laden with cupcakes, valentines, lollies and a guitar to party with a few 8 year olds i don't bring up what this day is to me...right???
