Piecing is almost harder than before...

[XYZ]

Thanks for the assist on this, Harrier. I do need to keep perspective.

It really hit me yesterday the amount of pressure I'm applying to both W and myself.

Things are going well. We're getting along great, having good times. W is starting to talk about events in the future. "Later this year", "when this happens, we'll do such and such..", "At my birthday (in May)...", etc etc. Those are good comments. They show longer term thinking.

But then I give her a sappy Valentines card that was very heart-felt and she says "thanks" and puts it down and walks off. Uggggggh. I wanted to scream and say screw it.

I'm tired of being this sappy, pressure filled guy. Where did my confidence go? Well, I want it back so I'm just going to get it back. I'm done with this crap. Starting now, I'm being me again. Ok, the new me that communicates better, is considerate, keeps W's point of view in mind, but still me. Not this whimpy kid that's just waiting for the girl to like him again anymore.

I've known for a while that I shouldn't be this pressure filled guy, but something snapped. Now I feel like not being it instead of just knowing it. I feel great today. I still want to grab my W and totally rock her world (and guys, you know what I mean here...), but it's ok that I can't. Someday I will...when she's wants her world to be rocked again. Until then, it's all good. Nobody is talking about divorce and both of us are talking about future plans. Isn't that good enough for know?