I wouldn't be discouraged at all. I think that you are mostly on the right path with your thinking but then you get the weekends to talk yourself out of the good of your situation. Please, for the love of God, write down the good things that have happened in a notebook. Keep it as a reminder.
So... obviously just like the rest of you, I'm an LBS. But, I still got myself into a situation at home where roommate kind of took over some of my roles and I became resentful. More and more, I was cut out of the picture. More and more, I retreated to a shell of me. Finally, the breakdown of my M happened. And finally, I had enough and practically told my H to leave. He wanted back a week later because he didn't want to leave in the first place. But it was me who sent him out the door. I got to the point where I just wanted to do everything on my own. And sometimes when he tried to do something for me (before you guys whacked me with the 2x4's) I would even resent that. And I wanted my M back!!! I got to a point, though, 2Step where I finally had to convince myself that I would be fine on my own. I could drive in the snow, take care of my own health issues, lose a ton of weight, make new friends, pay the bills and I didn't need anyone to help me. While empowering, it is still a bit of an illusion (everyone needs help) and takes on a life of its own. My H can probably count on one hand the number of phone calls I've initiated in the last 3 months. The same can probably be said about texts. Almost every conversation was initiated by him especially as the months wore on.
Why am I telling you all of this? Because I really believe that this is the mode that your W is in. I think that she is just as conflicted as I find myself. She wants to prove something to herself and probably to you too. She also probably wants to break out of this pattern a bit (why do you think she called with the book???) but she doesn't know how. Heck, I have the same question on my own thread. How do you move from independent and shielded from the hurt back to interdependent but open to the hurt. It's just not that easy. But I believe it's part of the issue and I think she needs your help. Now, unlike me, she holds the cards. So, I get that this is still quite a bit different from my situation.
