Sunday was good but kind of a nightmare... Because of some good advice from my friend 2Step, one of my 180's was to stay off the PC while he was around. So... I missed my friends, badly!!!
Ok, Denver and 2Step, no talk about the separation threat. I did and will continue to leave that alone right now. But I guess what I was trying to accomplish is not having to be scared of every single move I made. But I have to be mindful of that regardless. Ugh... I know you all are right.
OW? Yeah, we went over that on Saturday during the first talk. I'm in no mood. That I was pretty firm on. He still insists nothing is/was going on. I don't really care either way. I'm not dealing with it. FOBD, was that wrong? Because I fear it did come off as an ultimatum. The other things I listed, were kind of like, this is what I learned and this is how I think it can help US... But two things I said were non-negotiable. No OW and roommate moves out.
Ok, so slow is the name of the game, got it. But I think I am already screwing this up. You guys talked about control back in my court. I don't really like that. I love the partnership of our old marriage. He's scared of me right now almost. I hate that, to tell you the truth. Anyway, I am not making things easier either. He wants to talk more, but I'm still in shut down mode and I don't know how to break out of it. It's like I can see me doing it, but I don't know how to stop doing it. There are still a lot of things unsaid. So, these talks that you guys are having with your wives, well I feel like you're further along than I am because I can't have that heart to heart. What is wrong with me?? I come here and pour my heart out to all of you but then I get home and I close up like a clam.
Ugh... thank you all for your support. I'm hoping you'll have some advice.
