If I reconcile with W, then it looks to these guys, my friends, that I just got walked over. That I was just a doormat and let my W have a PA.
Denver none of these people is in your M.
None of these people have been on your journey.
Look around you. How many people do you think have truly faced the tragedy that you are dealing with here.
How many of them do think would have chosen the hard road you did.
To stand up for what you believe in and live YOUR truth.
YOUR truth not theirs.
Are you are a doormat because someone thinks your a doormat?
Originally Posted By: Denver
If it ever came up, I would defend my W by spilling my guts like I did here... but I'm not sure that it ever would with these guys. And, even if it did, and I spilled my guts like I did here, they would still, most likely, think less of my W and think that I was a doormat.
Why defend at all? You do not owe your true friends an explanation.
Why do you feel you must explain your actions and decisions to someone else?
Whose M is it? Whose life is it Denver?
Believe me I understand this way of thinking and sometimes we feel trapped by it.
Because we have lived our lives concerned about what others think about us, our choices, etc.
You are starting to figure out who you are Denver. The REAL you.
An awakening. You are examining and scrutinizing yourself. A process of self awareness and discovery.
Living that is when it becomes your skin. When the jacket you found becomes you. Self actualization is fancy name for it.
Then it only matters who you see in the mirror every day.
This takes time Denver and you are on the right path.
Quote:
And I'm afraid that it will be uncomfortable with these people if W and I reconcile and we hang out with them... which will happen of course.
Let it be their choice to be uncomfortable. It is yours to feel it that way as well. It is not a foregone conclusion unless you make it so.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
