Well, a while back, I posted a couple of times on different threads that there are two types of divorce: 1) legal, and 2) emotional... I was recently reminded quite nicely by Cat about the whole emotional divorce thing. Apparently, I had it in my mind that you had to have a legal divorce BEFORE you could have an emotional D, but not the other way around. My W divorced me emotionally weeks before she even left our home. I see that now.
He divorced me emotionally a long time ago. I love the guy, the real him under all that anger and resentment and detachment, yet at the same time. I don't know he's worth my energy anymore. Our marriage wasn't that great in retrospect and I was neglected.
The question is how do you feel about it? You are NOT legally D'd... do you feel emotionally divorced from your H? It does not sound like it to me. And I think the fact that you are here on this forum should speak volumes to where you are at with that. True. I do care for him. True I want to save my marriage because I know intellectually what lies ahead isn't peaches and cream and smooth sailing either.
Plus, many times, there are religious beliefs to be considered. My W and I, not so much. How about with you? I am coming to believe marriage is a sacred convenant. I neve did in the past. H ...was religiously abused and I really don't know what he thinks, but given his actions...do the math.
Ultimately, it is your call. Only you can decide when you have had enough and are done. You control this Scylia.
Only to a point. If he truly meant he's done and finished, then there is nothing I can do. I can only do what I'm doing now and that's to try to make a life for myself and my kids without him in it. BITS Denver
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BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
