I am glad you are still here. I spent a good 30 minutes looking for your thread before and couldn't find it. I was glad when Denver did for me. I see your sitch in a couple of ways, so I will warn you now that you might feel like some 2x4's are getting thrown your way.
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My W called me this AM about a small gift bag she put together for each of my girls for V-day. She asked me if I wanted her to wait for me to give them to her. Not sure what to think about it.
Why are you spending good energy in trying to figure out what to make of the request? Look MJ I know about the job thing, that must weigh on you very heavy. I've been there I think I've told you, but if you are depressed about the job and depressed about the M I doubt you are showing yourself in a positive light. I know this sounds like I am asking you to stop breathing but it is absolutely essential. Positive people radiate positive energy and people like that are hard to keep away. In the midst of everything that is going on if you show your W that you are positively excited about just living you’re telling me she will look at you with disgust? No way! At first she might. Then she will think it is an act. Then she will get curious as to why your life is so great. Then you start to make small progress.
I've been to dinner with a female friend of mine (she is in a relationship and we work together) and this girl is all smiles all the time. She knows I am going through hell right now but she is so positive I just have a really good time with her. She is infectious. Try it.
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My W kind of hinted that we need to chat before we tell my girls about me coming back
Great opportunity here, don't waste it. Look I see every interaction with my W as a chance to let her know she is leaving a great guy. Not because I tell her but because I really listen to her and try and validate. Will I succeed? Some on here seem to think so, I don't know, but who cares! If she goes through with the D I have but one goal. To make her believe that she is leaving a great guy!!
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I still am bothered by the whole situation with my FIL a few weeks back.
I remember the story well about your FIL. If you are going to apologize to him then do it. Keep it short and keep it pleasant. I don't know the guy but I doubt that if you go to him and just tell him you wanted to apologize for what happened and you come across as sincere and don't defend yourself that he will try and kill you. It's hard to attack an unarmed man.
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The last thing I want to address is the apparent indifference of my W.
I look at the indifference as another self defense emotion. If they don't care then they are validating their own feelings. Again I don't know why I see your sitch so much clearer than I see mine.
Concentrate on the positive things
1. You get to see your D's 2. You live in close proximity to your kids and W 3. You still get to come over and work out and hang at the house 4. You still SEE your W
I would give up a testacle for my W to be close. My M would have been saved I know for sure if my W would of moved out and gotten an apt in Jersey. I have 0 doubt. Use your advantage and don't defeat yourself.
