The unexamined life is not worth living

[Denver_2010]

I was stuck with the idea of saving face almost?!?!

Thanks for taking the time to check in on my sitch Figgeroni! Also, thanks for the great words of wisdom. It is nice to hear that it is possible to make it through this stuff and end up happy.

That "saving face" comment that I am quoting struck a cord with me. I kind of feel like that too to an extent. Or maybe, it has more to do with pride. I'm not sure if anyone knows that my W's R with OM ever became PA, but there are people, including my W's H whom I am friends with, and a couple of my close friends who know that she was spending a lot of time with this guy. I can only assume that they are assuming that W had PA. And these guys have always had the same ideas on this kind of thing... that it is just quittin time if it happens.

So, here lies the 'pride' problem. If I reconcile with W, then it looks to these guys, my friends, that I just got walked over. That I was just a doormat and let my W have a PA.

If it ever came up, I would defend my W by spilling my guts like I did here... but I'm not sure that it ever would with these guys. And, even if it did, and I spilled my guts like I did here, they would still, most likely, think less of my W and think that I was a doormat.

Ultimately, I'm not going to let this affect any decisions. But it is still in my mind nonetheless. And I'm afraid that it will be uncomfortable with these people if W and I reconcile and we hang out with them... which will happen of course.

Anyway... just kind of journaling now. Thanks again Fig!!

BITS
Denver