Valentine's Day questions

[sparks14]

For those that do not know my story, I have been posting under two topics involving my wife having a long PA with another woman.

The affair was exposed just a few weeks ago. We have since had a couple of couple's therapy sessions. The current plan is to help rebuild our relationship with the ending either including the two of us together or my wife through therapy realizing I cannot meet her needs as a lesbian. We are co-parenting our 6 month old. We get along well. There has been no contact with OW (I hope). She even asked me out to dinner on Friday with our S to celebrate a recent promising job interview.

Right now, I know that she is not in love with me, but we do love each other if that makes sense. I have been fighting of the words "i love you" for obvious reasons that this board and other books have suggested. We are in a very strange position, as we both work through therapy in preparation of my wife to discover her true sexual identity and needs. She is also living at her brother's place down the street, but we see each other and still spend time with each other due to our baby.

So Valentine's Day is around the corner, as I am sure many of you are in similar predicaments. My wife and I have not really been the type that makes reservations at a fancy restaurant and exchanges cheesy gifts. For the last several years, we have actually booked getaways at bed and breakfasts in a nearby town that we both love. This has just been our style or not overdoing the holiday.

I mentioned to her that I would like to do something very casual for Valentine's Day this year. I asked her if she would be interested in just having dinner one night this week. It doesn't even have to be Valentine's Day. She said that she would think about it. I am thinking very low key (maybe even with our baby in tow) like this past Friday.

I often do little things to wife to express love, and this has not stopped since our bomb. Maybe this is a bad thing, but it is difficult when this has I have always treated her. I recently bought her a song book for guitar. My wife plays and sings like a bird (one of the first things I became smitten by with her). She sings children's songs to our six month old, but she has not played her guitar in some time. I found a great song book for her where she could play the songs she has been singing to our boy. I figured it would be a nice little Valentine gift for her. Something simple but from the heart.

I also picked her out a card today that was less lovey than all of the others that professed an undying love to a loved one. This had a picture of her favorite flower (Gerber daisy) on the front. The inscription:

"We take time out of our bust lives to celebrate good news, special days, and fresh starts. We put everything else on hold to talk through problems, worries, and every what-if. We get together to talk, laugh, and eat things with lots of calories. And we're always there for each other. That's just the way it is. And the way it will always be. Happy Valentine's Day."

I was thinking of keeping my extra comments short. In our past, we would fill greeting cards with our thoughts in every available space. These were given not only on holidays, but whenever we messed up or were just thankful for each other.

Do you think this would be appropriate in my situation? I am completely in love with my wife, but I know I need to keep my emotions in check for a bit. Anybody have any suggestions on what to include or not to include in my message on the card? Anybody think I should scrap the plan all together?

Would love some guidance. I am pretty desperate right now. Thanks!