Thanks for taking the time. Making a positive list has proven to be very difficult for me because I feel as if everything I would of put on the list for short term goals has been done. I will attempt to put a list up and I hope to get feedback/criticism from all of you.
I consider it progress when/if my W:
1. Reaches out to me (it tells me she is thinking about me) Check. This has happened on several occasions. In my case what I fear is that my W is sitting there thinking “I am making an effort to reach out to him yet he makes no effort to call me” Where is the balance.
2. If W discusses the M and tells me how she is feeling and how she felt in the M in honest and open way. Check. She has opened up to me many times, those that have followed my situation from day one have seen this, and going into month 4 where/what is the next step? I agree that my validating has become much better but when will I see some progress.
3. If she agreed to counseling with me. Check the DB session. That was what 3 weeks ago?
4. She encourages me to contact her so I don't have to wait for her to contact me. During the xmas break she said “you know you can call me also” that before she filed the D papers and before she said we should only talk in necessary. Of course she has called many times since then but I usually do not initiate, the one day I called her and apologized went well for me. That was last week she called the next day and we talked a lot then she texted me the next two days after that. Should I know continue to go dark or is she waiting for me to make some contact?
5. If she would accept a visit from me. This will be my next move.
6. If she brings up reconciliation at all.
7. If she comes back (I know I know)
Some of these I have accomplished so I really don’t know what moves I should make at this point if anything.
