Maybe I seemed callous to you. I didn't mean to be. But the way I read your story, your wife took a lot of abuse from you. You turned her out of the house and your marriage long before she sought comfort from another man. Really, what did you expect her to do? She's young, attractive, and abused at home. When she tries to move on and have a new life, that makes her a cheater? And he's a predator? I see self-preservation written all over her actions.
As for your changes, that's great. You've been trying them out at home, and on this board, and being a great guy with your wife from a distance. And she has noticed the changes.
But all of that is rehearsal. You haven't done it for real, in the marriage, day in and day out yet. And that's where the rubber meets the road. The only changes that matter for repairing your marriage are the ones that she experiences. I have to agree with 2step. You've set the stage, you've done your rehearsal, and maybe you'll get the part in this show. The real work is yet to begin.
