As the Bolt Turns

[Bolt]

Bolt,

Here is the thing man, she called your bluff and she won. Something I have learned about being a jealous person (which I am not anymore use to be in my early 20's) is that it does not matter how jealous I am if someone is going to cheat they are going to cheat. All my wasted energy on worryinig about it is pointless.

Nothing you do regarding this person will change the outcome.

You stop her from texting him. She could resent you for it because they are truly friends.

You let her text him and you feel like crap.

I just see it as if you put your foot down on this then you are creating a problem where there isn't one.

A cheating spouse is a cheating spouse and there is very little you can do to stop it.

Keep hitting your goals on a daily basis keep taking your temp check every week. These are all good things.

Only worry about what you can control.

Right ON 2step. That's why I love this board.

I'm trying to keep it a non-issue right now. The impending move is making everyone nuts right now. We had a good talk about it but she's getting annoyed by the talk so I'm laying off.

It's tough because now she's concerned that if I get the big job that I'm up for, I would turn it down right now. I would have to live in LA while the fam lives in Ohio. I'm not ready to do that yet.

Kinda funny because now she's concerned about the job and me working and making a lot of cash - THAT is what got us into trouble in the first place EEEEPPP...

This move is just putting us through the ringer. I think she is feeling guilt because we're basically doing this move for her. I flat out told her that if she wants this R to work, then I'll do anything to work on it - including moving and putting my career on hold.

She's scared and is pulling away a little. She did say, however, that once we do move, it will be one less thing to worry about. Then we can work more on us.

At dinner, I asked if she wanted us to work. She said, I don't know if it would. I asked again, do you WANT us to work. She said, I'm not sure...I cut her off and basically just said, it's a yes or no question. She said yes. I said, then let's make it work no matter what.

It's still tough and we have a ton to work on. I feel that I have to detach a little or SOMETHING because this part is very hard. She's not leaving me but she isn't 100% back - it's just a confusing place to be for me. Do I pursue? Do I give space? Am I focusing too much on the sitch?

Damn...