hope, this is the first opportunity i've had to read your sitch in it's entirety. I'm very sorry for all your pain, you're much too young to have had this much relationship heartache in your life. Both my ex's (fiance, long term bf) were both cheaters. I finally opened my heart to my current H, i trusted him , i believed in my soul he was a different man than my ex's and he was for the better part of 8 years and then he changed. Did i contribute to that ? most definitely but have I couldn't blame myself for choosing the wrong man, i trusted my heart and i still love him to death but it was through both our actions that contributed to the demise of our marriage.
As women, we are our own worst enemies, we have an incredible sense of instinct especially if we've been down this road before and we let it fester to the point that we lose control of ourselves and our situations and in the end taint all the hard work we are trying to accomplish.
It breaks my heart to hear of your story and i understand the thoughts that eat away at us but if you want to repair your marriage and continue piecing you have to keep doing what you're doing and be the positive light at all times in front of him, don't let him see your weaknesses or your doubt as it'll push him backwards.
take care and good luck *hugs*
Me-41 H-34 T-9 M-8 10/21/10-BOMB 11/01/10-H moves out 01/27/12-H files
"Good memories tell you that your past was worth it, bad ones tell you that you were strong enough to go on"
