FMV, Depression is situational and fleeting. I'm not bedridden or not washing my hair etc. I'm going to work, keeping house, keeping up with commitments. I just get blue. It's a sad situation.
Yah, I know what you mean. There's different levels of depression though. Mine was mild - another term is 'functional depression'. I just want to share this with you, not to steal your thread nor pester you if you're satisfied with where you're at, but to let you know that depression isn't just being bedridden or unable to wash your hair. That's what I'd thought too - I thought, "good grief I don't look like those people in those commercials! I'm still functioning... I'm just blue... if I was stronger I'd snap out of it."
I could still go to work; go out with friends; go to appointments etc; I was functioning. But when I was alone, that's when it would really get me. My sleep was terrible; maybe 4 hrs a night for close to a month; and when I did sleep, it was full of horrid nightmares. I'd wake up and be beyond exhausted through the day. But if I'd try to nap? My head would spin and churn and I'd give up. Or when I'd be confronted with confict or stress, my thoughts would turn to confetti, whirling and spinning in my head. I couldn't stop thinking about hurts others had inflicted on me; problems, things I'd done wrong.
And I couldn't let all this stuff go because it still hurt. But not because I was a weak person, because I was depressed and didn't know it. It made me incapable of learning new ways of thinking so that I could then learn new ways of dealing with people and problems. That's what treatment for depression is really about. It's not a patch to get a 'fake happy' so that you never learn how to deal with your problems. It's much deeper than that. It's what enables you to learn how to deal with your problems in new ways that you'd never known about before.
So again, not to pester, but if any of your experiences right now feel similar to what I've described I was going through, consider talking to your MC about it. I'm very lucky my IC recognized it in me when she did; she got me the treatment I needed and although I still have wobbly days, my brain is healing enough that I'm moving forward again. Just something to consider... take care. FMV.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
